My mother is my Kryptonite

In this respect I am Sheldon Cooper. My mother is my Kryptonite. She has powers over me that no one else has. Sometimes I am resentful of that. She can make me do things no one else can make me do (I suspect (and not in a bad way) that is because no one else is prepared see me upset as much as she is prepared to see me upset). I find this kind of relationship very challenging and I am only just finding ways to feel safe about it. Its hard to admit that because I can apply a kind of 'matrix of good parenting' to my parents and I can see how they tick all the boxes. Sometimes I make such sensible choices and am so very responsible that it must seem to other people that when I make 'senseless choices' (like not to open my mail) I am just being difficult and that I am making a choice to be so. Some people think the solution is to tell me to 'just do it'. Or they think that I will learn from any hardship that results from my difficult choice. But I don't seem to. Telling me to 'just open' the mail doesn't result in the mail being opened. Telling me I have to invoice people when I do a job or I won't get paid doesn't make me send invoices. Many of the aspies I know have a few similar quirks (can't wear certain colours, can't say certain words, can't walk past certain objects, can't accept gifts, can't throw stuff out, can't open mail, can't post mail, can't answer phone, can't make phone calls - these are just examples I've come across but I'd love to hear of other resistances that are a bit unusual) Lots of us have people in our lives who truly believe that the solution is to find a way to make us 'face our fear'. Im starting to think that this makes it worse. I have spent my whole life working really hard and not getting paid properly because I can't invoice people. If I put myself through hell and allow the rest of my life to become manic then at best I can invoice maybe 50% of my clients. I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on 'learning to overcome the issue'. Nothing has worked. I have some theories about why (eg I've noticed that most resistances do seem tied up with sensory issues or central processing issues relating to order etc) but Im so exhausted from trying to manage the impacts of working full time and only getting paid for half the work I do that it just doesn't matter any more. I just want it to end. Last year my Mum realised (after 40 years of thinking that eventually I would be able to manage this stuff) that the simplest solution is to send the invoices for me. I don't remember ever having been more relieved in my life. Im so stressed out just thinking about this Im going to stop typing now and go and build a turtle pond - gardening is a verb.