In the moment

I see very clearly that there is an important role for people living with ASD to try and articulate their process as much as possible.  In the moment I often come across as very critical of people or situations. I think thats because I like puzzles. So in every situation I see a puzzle and more puzzles within it. And in trying to solve the puzzles I am looking for the pieces that don't fit, in order to reconcile all of the other pieces, building bridges in my mind. As a kid, I could never understand why people thought I was arguing all the time. In my mind I wasn't having an argument at all, I was just stating the facts. The fact that the other person didn't understand the facts was disturbing to me. As an adult I have learnt to observe other people and even at times pretend that it doesn't matter to me when someone doesn't understand the facts. Im also a bit more able to understand the rules behind the mechanics of conversation. I speak: you speak: I speak : you speak and try and remember to show them you are listening. ("Good listeners don't say "I already know that". Good listeners make eye contact. Good listeners don't interrupt. Good listeners don't talk too long when it's their turn") Here's a tip that Tony Roberts taught me during the many long hours I spent sitting in his front room practicing that kind of stuff. If you look at someone's nose or just above their nose between their eyebrows, they don't know you aren't looking in their eyes. Try it. It works.